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How to talk to your student about substance use

alcohol abuse

Many of us have had to make major life changes over the past few weeks. Our students are no different. As they move through this transitional period, they may experience higher levels of stress, anxiety, depression or anger. It’s important to keep in mind that everyone copes with changes differently, and your student’s experience may not mirror that of their classmates. If you are worried about your student’s use of alcohol or other drugs during this time, here are some tips to help you start the conversation.

Open and ongoing dialogue is key

Family members are a crucial support system for student success. It’s important to have an open and ongoing dialogue with your student about important issues like substance use especially in times of increased stress.Ěý

Approaching the topic of substance use through a non-judgmental conversation with your student can help when it comes to the choices they make and knowing when to seek help for themselves or others. Here are some communication tips to consider:

  • Listen. Allow your student to share their perspective and experience without interruption or judgment. The more your student feels heard, the more likely they are to open up and continue the conversation about this and other difficult topics. Try asking open-ended questions to get your student talking and truly understand their perspective.
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  • Explore why students may use substances. Students may choose to experiment with drugs and alcohol for a variety of reasons – peer pressure, boredom, stress relief, coping, etc. Consider these reasons when planning your conversation and think of alternative activities that your student could engage in. Recognizing that there are some “positive” reasons students may choose to use substances can help you put those into perspective.
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  • Emphasize you are here to support them. If your student becomes defensive or feels like they’re being lectured, remind them that you want to help them get through this time of uncertainty. Offer ideas for healthy coping strategies like making time for hobbies they enjoy, connecting with friends and family virtually, staying active, spending time outside or reaching out for help if needed.

    You can also help your student identify what they are passionate about and what they want to accomplish. When they are engaged in something meaningful, they are more likely to prioritize those commitments and goals and less likely to let alcohol or other drugs become something that gets in the way of those goals.
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  • Be prepared for possible resistance. If this is your first time talking to your student about substance use, and it’s important to be prepared that they may initially be reluctant to engage in the conversation. They may be afraid of getting in trouble or feel as though they’ve already heard everything there is to hear about alcohol or other drugs. It can also help to prepare for conflict. Remember, not everyone will react how we expect or think they should react. Many of our students are trying to adjust to a significant amount of change over a short period of time.

    Even if this isn’t your first time talking about substance use, it’s good to remember that emotions during this time may be heightened and conversations can escalate quickly. If you notice the conversation is getting tense or unproductive, take a break and revisit it later. Allow your student time to breathe and reflect. You can always come back to the conversation once everyone has had time to cool off. Remember that issues may not resolve overnight. Stay open to listening to your student — the conversations will build and deepen over time. For more tips, check out our “How to navigate important conversations with your student” article.

Support resources

CU Boulder has a variety of resources to support both students and families.

  • Student affairs has a collection of free virtual activities to help students and families combat boredom, explore self-care activities and create new routines.
  • offers assistance with referrals to campus and community resources to assist in developing an action plan with students. Case managers will be available Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. To schedule a phone or Zoom appointment please contact 303-492-7348 or email sscm@colorado.edu.
  • offers confidential virtual mental health services for a variety of concerns including academics, anxiety, depression, relationships, substance use and more. Students can call 303-492-2277 and follow the prompts to get connected with a CAPS provider.
  • supports students in recovery or seeking recovery from substance use, as well as those interested in being a part of a healthy, sober community. The CUCRC is currently providing online support meetings via Zoom. Please contact cucrc@colorado.edu or call 303-492-9642 to get connected.